Pin It
Thursday, March 31st, 2011

Primary School Privilege

By
raising-global-citizens/ Ian Sobolev

I get an urgent call from one of the other Kindergarten moms. She tells me that there is a child that she wants removed from the classroom. My mind races a little as I think about what a strict school it is, so strict in fact that my daughter Meazi recently received a time-out for whistling. (Apparently she was also a “whistling instigator,” inspiring several other kids to express themselves in this exuberant manner). I am silently wondering what on earth this Kindergartener could have done to warrant such vitriol from the woman on the phone. Maybe she set fire to the small play kitchen? Perhaps she is a biter and is physically hurting the other children.

 

“She is four years old,” the mom reveals. “Four!” She adds that as a psychologist she is well aware of how completely detrimental her age is to the other students in our class. “She will slow them down developmentally,” she says. I feel perplexed as she continues her case against this four year old. I start to think about Meazi and her very esoteric birth date. In Ethiopia, there is not much importance given to the actual birth date; that combined with the fact that Meazi was actually much older than her stated age in her paperwork makes her age and birth date a little difficult to pinpoint. Physically she did look like a girl about to turn three when we met her. After an exam and discussion with our pediatrician, we bumped Meazi’s age up by one year. The mom continues to emphatically complain about the rogue four year old in question. It was all I could do not to say to her, “First. World. Problem.”

 

Public, private, Waldorf, Montessori, charter, magnet, homeschool, unschool—every parent wants to choose the best school for their child, a place where they will be happy and meet their full potential. We had decided that we would take our time choosing a school for Meazi. We wanted to get to know her first. We were in no hurry. We had read about the importance of cocooning and attaching and how critical it was to begin the bonding process with our children. When we first met Meazi she said the word “school” and the word “lijoch,” Amharic for children, constantly. Meazi wanted to be in school, with other children.

 

At the orphanage, she attended school for the first time. She was learning things like the English alphabet and English colors. We have a very short video of her with a pointer at her orphanage school, saying “rhed,” and “ohrrrange,” rolling her “r’s.” She asked us repeatedly for school while we were in Ethiopia, on the plane, and when we got home. Realizing that perhaps we should follow her lead we scrambled to enroll her in our local elementary school’s pre-K program. It was only eight hours a week, and she absolutely loved it. We came to America on August 15th and less than a month later school started. As soon as she was in a room of her peers, her English improved at a remarkable rate. It was an easy choice. We walked to school. We became friends with the crossing guard. It felt like an old-fashioned neighborhood school experience, similar to what I had growing up in the suburbs of Chicago. We decided, for several reasons, not to send her to the same school for Kindergarten. In spite of our atheist and Jewish tendencies, we enrolled her in the Catholic school that our next-door neighbor was attending. To me these choices we had, and still have, are a great privilege. It is a privilege that I have options.

 

For the past six months I have found myself very distracted during conversations with fellow parents from Meazi’s school. Before the holidays I started a fundraising campaign to build a school and library in the remote Ethiopian village where my children were born and where they spent the beginning of their lives. Currently school is not an option there. Ethiopia’s literacy rate for men is 50% and for women it is 35%. The children in Kololo, Ethiopia spend much of their day working. My husband and I were shocked when Meazi harvested the corn in our backyard garden with the strength and dexterity of a full grown adult. She confirmed that she and her brothers and sisters worked daily on their family’s farm. Her older sister spent many hours of her day gathering water.

 

The school we are planning will follow a curriculum and schedule specifically tailored to meet the needs of a rural farming community. Children will still be able to work with their parents, but they will also get a chance to attend school. I find myself in a weird state now. I get up in the morning and open my e-mail—three notices from Meazi’s school: she can pay a dollar to have a non-uniform day, they need donations for the silent auction, and the parent advisory council meeting for this month has been canceled. The next e-mail is a group of pictures from Kololo. There is a shot of the land that the government has promised for the school. There is a shot of many of the men in the community, who will most likely get work from the actual building of the school. They are parents, parents who will be happy to see their children go to school for the first time.

 

Recently another Kindergarten mom started making irate phone calls. Me. I was in a tizzy. Meazi’s school decided to add 20 days to the school calendar. 200 days of school for a Kindergartener seemed excessive to me. What about summer vacation? I thought. Popsicles and bike rides? What about zoo visits and swimming lessons? I sent my husband to represent us at the parent meeting, “Please stand up and say we are against it!” At the meeting the principal revealed that this plan was on hold. The school will stick to its schedule of 180 days of instruction—First World Problem avoided.

 

It is easy for me to get caught up in my daily mommy minutiae, to get bogged down by parenting with my privileged to-do list. As I rush around buying portable applesauce, returning books to the library and buying size 11 ballet shoes, I take a moment to look at my favorite picture from Kololo. In it 17 small lijoch, Kololo’s finest, sit in the dirt, with their bare feet and threadbare clothes. They are the future students of the school. There are readers, writers, dreamers and leaders among them. What will they think? How will it feel for them to hold their first book? How will it feel to bring it home and show it to their parents, to their grandparents? What will it mean for them to learn to read? I am hopeful. I am hopeful that their parents will someday have the luxury to spend time on a conversation about the length of the academic year, or whether or not the younger kids are holding the older kids back. I am hopeful that the students in this new school will feel so happy that they just can’t help but whistle and whistle and whistle.

 

© 2011 – 2012, Julie Corby. All rights reserved.

More Great Stuff You'll Love:


All I Want for Christmas is Perfectly Bilingual Children

Why OPOL has been harder than we thought.

Are Germans Really Rude?

This German dad shares his thoughts

How I Made My Forgotten Native Language My Child’s Strongest

I started off by speaking dodgy Cantonese. No word for remote control? No problem! ‘Pressy thingy.’

ABOUT THE AUTHOR


Julie Corby lives in Los Angeles with her husband of ten years and their two children, Meazi and Melese, adopted in August of 2009 from Ethiopia. She also blogs about her experiences at: http://theeyesofmyeyesareopened.blogspot.com

Leave us a comment!

11 Comments
  1. CommentsScooping it up   |  Friday, 01 April 2011 at 5:45 am

    Thank you Julie. Keeping a toe, a hand, or sometimes a vital organ still in Ethiopia helps us keep perspective on all our First World Problems.

  2. CommentsAnne   |  Friday, 01 April 2011 at 6:42 am

    Great article Julie. Thank you for all that you have done to build a new school in Ethiopia.

  3. Commentsil panettiere...   |  Friday, 01 April 2011 at 6:50 am

    Great article Julie! This perspective is so very important. I wonder what would happen if you shared it with some folks at Meazi’s school… there is much to be gained here.

  4. CommentsLori Inman   |  Friday, 01 April 2011 at 8:13 am

    What a lovely article.

  5. CommentsAngela   |  Friday, 01 April 2011 at 9:56 am

    As always, well said Julie. Oh how privileged we are, if only that were top of mind more often.

  6. CommentsYaddi   |  Friday, 01 April 2011 at 10:11 am

    Superb article! Born in Ethiopia, Attended school in Ethiopia I now live in US and my kids go to a wonderful Cooprative preschool. I too sometimes find my self in two worlds, Do I have to worry too much about minor things like not returning my kids book to library and get them a new one, while i know the world away kids live without school. Am I being unfair comparing my kids to others, if so, why not….Am i being not fair to my kids for comparing their life to those in Africa.

    A lot going in my mind but I know one thing for sure…everyone wishes best to his child and weather you live in Belair or Kololo wishing the best to your kids is a gift and responsibilty given to you with title of “Parent”

    My inspirations are those who selflessly think about the needy parents across the world….That is why i am a fan of what you are doing in Kololo.

    Yaddi

  7. Commentshazel   |  Friday, 01 April 2011 at 11:12 am

    Well said, Julie. And you are doing such good work in helping build the school.

  8. CommentsClaire   |  Friday, 01 April 2011 at 4:31 pm

    Wonderful article, Julie. Your comment about Meazi being a whistling instigator made me laugh! Must be a pretty strict Kindie room. I teach Kindie and I must be pretty laid back, I guess!!!

    I love what you are doing in Kololo and I too, have to step back when I see myself stressing over my own kids and school, and what happens in my classroom. I teaching a unit that deals with the clean water crisis in Ethiopia to my K’s and we are talking about how many girls must walk for water all day and do not get to attend school, and the water is dirty and makes them sick. Then we will participate in the community Run for Water, which raises money to build water systems in Ethiopia. My husband and I are on the board for the Run. It is a great unit for the kids. Our whole school is on board with it, and it is amazing to see the kids telling the parents how different their lives are in comparison to the kids in Ethiopia. Check out our website: http://www.runforwater.ca Do you have a website for your school/library project that I can check out?

  9. CommentsJulie   |  Friday, 01 April 2011 at 9:46 pm

    Thanks for the kind words.

    Claire, Run for water looks great. What a wonderful thing you are doing with your class and school. Tesfa and Ethiopia Reads are joining forces on this project. Here is the school link:http://tesfa.org/store?item=1291747635
    Here is the link on the Ethiopia Reads website:https://ethiopiareads.worldsecuresystems.com/BookingRetrieve.aspx?ID=122184

  10. CommentsInCultureParent | What is Home for My Adopted Son?   |  Tuesday, 12 March 2013 at 12:44 pm

    […] at me with his big brown eyes and I felt my heart break. Disneyland, California Pizza Kitchen, private schools, violin lessons, none of it matters; he would just like to go home now please. Ethiopia is his […]

  11. CommentsHazel   |  Saturday, 15 March 2014 at 8:50 am

    Great article, Julie. “Whistling instigator”. Good grief! When did it become a crime for a kid to be a kid? Can’t the teachers control the kids? My B started K at 4. She is the younger at her school but certainly not the youngest in terms of maturity.









Notify me of follow-up comments via e-mail.
Or leave your email address and click here to receive email notifications of new comments without leaving a comment yourself.

Get weekly updates right in your inbox so you don't miss out!



A Children's Book for Raising Global Citizens

Every life is a story. It’s easier to understand someone when you know their story.

Why I Travel 13 Hours Alone with My Kids Every Chance I Get

Travelling with children, while definitely more of a mission, contradicts the old saying that “life is about the journey, not the destination.”

A Diverse Book for Preschoolers in Celebration of Multicultural Children's Book Day

A book that honestly and simply celebrates the every day diversity that children experience.

Why My African Feminist Mother Gave Me the Identity of My Father's Tribe

She gave me an identity so different from her own.

2 Children’s Books about Jamaica

Explore Jamaica with your child.

Costa Rica with Kids: Two Weeks of Family Travel

Two weeks of Pura Vida in a country with so much to offer families.

Should I Worry about My Child's Accent in Her Foreign Language?

See why Dr. Gupta takes offense to this question and where children learn accents from

How to raise trilingual kids when exposure to Dad's language is limited

My kids only get 1-2 hours of the minority language per day-help!
For quite sometime, whenever there were articles that surfaced the internet concerning whether it was appropriate to breastfeed in public, I was so baffled. As a Mongolian, I was so shocked that som...
From Breastfeeding in the Land of Genghis Khan
For quite some whenever there was articles circulated on the internet concerning whether it is appropriate to breastfeed in public. As a Mongolian, I was so shocked that some countries considered i...
From Breastfeeding in the Land of Genghis Khan
I live with my Czech in laws with my four children and my Czech is crap I try to learn but the baby doesn't sleep well I'm a constant zombie and the brain just doesn't work. Plus being tired makes m...
From How I Reclaimed My House from My Mother-in-Law
I am so glad I found this site. I am happy to see that I am not alone in experiencing 'family issues' after getting married. I am not from the West but I am married to a Canadian. I never truly unde...
From How I Reclaimed My House from My Mother-in-Law
[…] my most favourite article about breastfeeding called Breastfeeding in the Land of Genghis Khan by Ruth Kamnitzer. I have no doubt that Mongolians would find our social stigmas around [R...
From Breastfeeding in the Land of Genghis Khan
[…] sources and reasons for the rules of these countries too, such as China, Sweden, Norway, Denmark, Germany, Iceland, and Hungary (see above re “Titanic”).  Has anyone got s...
From International Baby Naming Laws–Are They a Good Thing?
[…] Source Inculture Parents […...
From Lotus Lanterns for Wesak (Buddha Day)
If your nerves shat down your hormones , can you get pregnant by injecting a sperm in you to develop a baby . Please let me know...
From Baby-Making the Hindu Way
[…] Diwali Lantern from InCultureParent […...
From Diwali Craft: Make a Lantern

More Becoming Us: Adoption