I am the daughter of born-and-raised-in-Japan parents and also a proud American citizen. I grew up bilingual because both of my parents spoke only Japanese at home, but at school, I only heard English. I think this is one of the most ideal ways to become bilingual—to be immersed in one language half the time, and in another the other half. I was very lucky; being bilingual has helped me in my education and given me neat volunteer and work opportunities. Although my English is ten times better than my Japanese, I am grateful for the rusty bit of Japanese that I know.

I am now married to a so-white-it’s-almost-blinding husband, who only speaks English, and together we are attempting to raise bilingual and bicultural children. It is both easier and harder than we anticipated. Oh, and more expensive.

Raising bilingual children is easy because little children are naturally just amazing. Their brains are super sponges. They hear a word once, and they’ve got it. It’s locked into their brains. No need to teach grammar or use flashcards—all you have to do is talk, and they just get it. My daughter (now three) was slower to begin speaking than some of her peers. She didn’t say her first words until she was nearly 18 months old. We attribute this to her listening to two languages and trying to figure it all out. By the time she was two, you could never get her to shut up. She would turn to my mom and blabber in Japanese, then turn to my husband and blabber in English. We were floored. We did it! She’s bilingual! We are awesome parents.

After awhile though, my daughter figured out English was easier. She learned that most of the people around her speak English, not Japanese. And because of the lack of necessity, she started to speak more English than Japanese. I was terrified. What do I do now? Is it all downhill from here? I put forth extra effort to speak more Japanese in our home (hard), made her watch Japanese shows on YouTube and organized more playdates with Japanese friends. It kind of worked. Her Japanese got a little bit better.

But I knew more was needed. This is where money comes into play. I enrolled her in the local Japanese School ($$$). I bought many Japanese children’s books ($). We found a Japanese music teacher ($). We want to take her to Japan for a few weeks ($$$). And maybe someday, if we have any leftover money after all that, we will get cable ($) so she can watch more Japanese children’s shows on TV.

Some may say all those extra things aren’t necessary: “Just try to speak Japanese more at home.” That may be true, but remember, my Japanese is not great. I don’t want her to learn poor Japanese. Plus, I really want to take advantage of these early years when the brain learns the quickest. I have a feeling that once she starts attending school full-time, it will all of a sudden become much more challenging to keep up her Japanese.

I don’t want to be a “Tiger Mom” and have my kids hate to learn Japanese because I’m pushing too hard (I know I hated studying Japanese when I was young). I hope I can help my children realize the value of bilingualism at an early age and that I will be able to find fun ways to teach them the language and culture. Raising bilingual children isn’t always easy and it can be expensive, but its rewards are absolutely priceless.

© 2011 – 2013, Hatsuho Cook. All rights reserved.

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1. Is Raising Bilingual Children Worth the Costs? | InCultureParent | TEFL Japan   |  Wednesday, 31 August 2011 at 11:14 pm

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2. Check out my article :) « Hiragana Mama   |  Thursday, 01 September 2011 at 8:57 am

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3. Sayaka   |  Thursday, 01 September 2011 at 3:22 pm

   I agree that spending some money on extra Japanese exposure with real natives is necessary if you want your children to be truly bilingual. Try as you might, it’s just too difficult to practice a language with someone when you know that person understands English so much better. We always tend to go for convenience, so our children will as well. Good job on all the dedicated effort you put into exposing your kids to Japanese, they will be so grateful for it!

4. Ammena   |  Friday, 02 September 2011 at 12:26 am

   I wonder if spending more time with a relative (your mum) would be an option?

5. Famm vanyan   |  Friday, 02 September 2011 at 9:28 am

   Spending more time with grandma will do the tricks specially if Grandma doesn’t speak English well . To learn a language well you have to practice it. Remember the saying:if you don’t use, you lose it.

6. Hiragana Mama   |  Friday, 02 September 2011 at 2:00 pm

   All of you are right! My mom and dad are a huge blessing in our lives… we try to visit as often as we can (our free weekends are limited due to Japanese school and other activities). My daughter loves to speak Japanese with her grandparents. Also, I would not be able to understand all the correspondence coming from Japanese school without my mom’s help! Thanks Mom! And thank you everyone for your comments.

7. Grace Hwang Lynch   |  Monday, 05 September 2011 at 10:36 pm

   It is expensive, isn’t it? In both time and money. I think it’s finding a balance between with your family’s budget and your daughters interest level. Does your area have any Japanese language programs in school? I know it’s not the most common language in public schools, but any opportunities to learn a language along with regular curriculum would be convenient.

8. Leslie Tanaka   |  Sunday, 25 September 2011 at 7:44 pm

   No one I know that speaks another language is sorry that they do! Bottom line, it increases opportunity for your children. My son traveled with his father once or twice a year (for several years) to Japan. He went to Saturday Japanese school. I volunteered at that school for about 12 years. Tough? Yup. but well worth it!
   He’s pretty good conversationally with a nice native accent (or so I’ve been told). Take your daughter to school and your mom’s house as often as possible. When she is old enough, summer vacations alone with her grandparents will be the ticket. :O) Then College Japanese or High School if you are lucky.

9. Hiragana Mama   |  Tuesday, 27 September 2011 at 2:10 pm

   Volunteered for 12 years? That’s hardcore It is very hard giving up our Saturdays for school, but like you say, all the sacrifices will be worth it. I hope high schools will start offering Japanese. I know it’s one of the first languages to get cut when budgets are tight.

10. Sandra   |  Friday, 14 October 2011 at 10:00 am

    Congrats on raising bilingual children! I hope to do the same for our 23-month-old daughter, who speaks mostly Japanese at the moment because she spends her weekdays with her Issei grandparents. (She speaks English to her dad and when we’re out and about.) One suggestion I’ve received–and which happened for us naturally–is to have each parent speak exclusively in one language to the kids. (In our case, it would be Japanese speaking mom, English speaking dad because dad doesn’t speak very much Japanese.) I don’t know how realistic that is in the long run, though, because that means that as our daughter begins saying more than just simple words, dad will eventually not understand what we’re talking about! We shall see…

11. Sandra   |  Friday, 14 October 2011 at 10:04 am

    By the way, I just checked out your site – it is AWESOME! I enjoyed the entries and my daughter will love the youtube links to tomato-chan and others. Thank you!

12. Hiragana Mama   |  Friday, 14 October 2011 at 6:58 pm

    Thanks for your comments! ありがとう！I wish I was better about speaking Japanese to my kids at home but it is super hard because English comes much more naturally to me. You are lucky to have issei grandparents living nearby!

13. Our Top 10 Articles in 2011 | InCultureParent   |  Sunday, 01 January 2012 at 11:25 pm

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14. Quick News | Hiragana Mama   |  Monday, 09 January 2012 at 1:17 pm

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15. Little Japan Mama   |  Wednesday, 18 January 2012 at 4:09 am

    Wow, this article and the following comments are a real eye-opener for me! My husband and I are bi-lingual in Japanese and English, my husband native in Japanese, myself in English. Our son is two and mostly using English so far, but after reading this I begin to wonder that living in Japan will put him at risk of not learning English as well as Japanese. That would be difficult for me and I think I would feel isolated from my own family, so I’m glad to hear this advice and know that I need to make an effort to help his English. Thanks for the article, Hatsuho, and for your comments, everybody♡

16. Hiragana Mama   |  Wednesday, 25 January 2012 at 10:13 am

    Since your English is so great, I don’t think your son will have any trouble learning Japanese and English while living in Japan! Just speak English to him while at home, and he’ll naturally pick up the Japanese at school.

17. Is Raising Bilingual Children Worth the Costs? « Hiragana Mama   |  Sunday, 19 February 2012 at 6:10 am

    [...] is a re-post of an article I wrote for In Culture Parent magazine last August} Share this:EmailDiggShare on TumblrLike this:LikeBe the first to like this [...]

18. Lori   |  Thursday, 18 October 2012 at 3:17 pm

    I was the owner of a trilingual school and movement or eight years, but family budgets kept getting in the way, each year for many. So, we’ve decided to each do FREE hime or public school, and our very own eSchool live in a few days!!!!!
    (Www.theswissschool.com) It’s super good. Includes books, music, friendly faces, songs, assignments, and more all for $9 a month. With our savings, we are meeting in Asia this summer. Now, we all can afford to be excellent in three languages!!!

19. Leigh   |  Friday, 19 October 2012 at 5:27 am

    I grew up in Japan from ages of 2-10. (Parents are both Japanese). My parents enrolled me in Japanese schools on Sundays. As a result, I spent my weeknights catching up on studies, and Saturdays catching up on week’s worth of Japanese homework as we were keeping up with the Japanese schools. I grew up in NJ and in 4th grade we had about 10 kids or more. By the time I reached highschool, I was the only kid left as most had given up speaking/learning Japanese. As my activities increased in highschool, and I was the oldest kid in the school, we decided it was best to focus on my US education and no longer attend the school. I became the highest grade they ever taught, which was 中学校 1. I was year behind in Japanese school as Japanese schools start in April/May and I moved to US in Sept and we took one year off to accelerate in English.

    So I think the tough thing is what’s best for our kids. We have a newborn and there’s so much to do. Given the high hopes that our child will achieve in academia, I can not fathom how much time our child will have to learn Japanese. So I am trying to figure out a great approach.

    One option was to bring a Japanese Au-Pair. I think that would force our children to learn Japanese as they will hear up to date Japanese and the aupair will bring Japanese into our home.