Why the Tooth Fairy is American in our Multicultural Home

Friday, March 30th, 2012

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With four cultures represented in their home, this family decided on the American tooth fairy.

Explaining How Babies are Born to my Adopted Son

Saturday, March 24th, 2012

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Recently Jin’s imagination gave me my first taste of the nuances of parenting an adopted child.

What do Baklava and Doro Wat Have in Common?

Tuesday, February 7th, 2012

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Growing up, my sisters and I learned Dutch before English…My immigrant parents and I often found a gulf separated us from fully understanding each other. Food became part of a bridge we built in my adult years.

My Inadvertently Open, Ethiopian Adoption—A Steep Learning Curve

Thursday, December 22nd, 2011

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In the beginning it was about wanting a baby. I desperately wanted a baby. Every single cell in my body was screaming to be pregnant. My late twenties and all of my thirties were dedicated to the goal of getting pregnant.

A Pakistani-American Adoption Journey

Tuesday, December 6th, 2011

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One couple’s adoption journey as a mixed race, multicultural family.

International Adoption is Never That Simple

Tuesday, October 25th, 2011

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There is a lot of debate over whether international adoption is “right” or “wrong,” I have become increasingly frustrated with the way in which the very complex issue of international adoption has been reduced to an overly simplistic question of right vs. wrong. One result of this over-simplification is the children who need help have become the victims of international adoption policies.

Is it Possible to be Too Multicultural?

Wednesday, October 12th, 2011

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People who see us out together call us the United Nations family. We are stopped constantly by people who ask, “Are these all yours?”

Reunited Outside the Orphanage Walls

Thursday, September 1st, 2011

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I spend a lot of time thinking about everything my children have lost. The list is long. Sometimes, however, something beautiful takes place, like it did on this sunny August day on the lake.

9 Things You Should Never Say to Adoptive Parents

Wednesday, August 17th, 2011

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Do you know what to say and not say to adoptive families?

8 Rules of Adoption Etiquette

Wednesday, August 10th, 2011

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You already know what not to ask about adoption, so what are the right things to say?

Multicultural Siblings: Identity and the Land of In-Between

Wednesday, July 6th, 2011

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When you join two cultures through marriage, like my husband and I, you know your children will live in the land between, never truly belonging to one or the other. What then for the child we adopted from Africa? How many in-betweens does she represent?

Honoring Your Child’s Heritage When He’s Too Young to Care

Tuesday, May 31st, 2011

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When my husband and I decided to adopt internationally, we entered the process fully aware that adopting a child of a different race, ethnicity and culture would mean being intentional about how we’d honor his race, ethnicity and culture in our family.

Death of a Parent and Ella’s Troubled Hair

Saturday, April 30th, 2011

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One of my greatest fears as a white American woman adopting three Ethiopian children (two girls and a boy) was that I would mess up their hair.

Primary School Privilege

Thursday, March 31st, 2011

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I get an urgent call from one of the other Kindergarten moms. She tells me that there is a child that she wants removed from the classroom. My mind races a little as I think about what a strict school it is, so strict in fact that my daughter Meazi recently received a time-out for whistling.

Finding Aster

Monday, February 28th, 2011

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I began to think about Aster’s birth mother long before the nanny handed her to me. It took many months for my daughter’s biological mother not to enter into my daily thoughts. I felt such deep sadness for this child who, we were told, would never have the opportunity to know the woman who birthed her.

Family Evolution: The Meaning of Multicultural

Monday, January 31st, 2011

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I grew up in a multicultural house. My mother was born in the Netherlands. My father, although also of Dutch heritage, was born in Indonesia and spent much of his early years split between those islands and Australia. He brought with him foods, languages, a love of large birds and a unique accent.

To Korea, With Love: Grieving the Loss of the Foster Family

Friday, December 31st, 2010

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In the two years that my husband David and I had been trying to adopt, I had thought a lot—a whole lot—about the day we would first meet our child. I had envied friends’ photos of meeting their children, wondering what it would be like when (and at times if) we adopted our child. I had romantic notions that we would be crying with joy, holding our child, who would likely be confused and upset, but somewhat placated by the food and treats we would have brought him or her.

Family History

Tuesday, November 30th, 2010

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In the ten years between my wedding day and the day I met my children, I spent a lot of time fantasizing about all of the traditions we would celebrate once I finally became a mother. I didn’t spend a lot of time thinking about the rituals and expressions that come along with loss and grief.

On Beauty and Adoption

Tuesday, October 26th, 2010

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A simple fact of adoption is the likelihood your child will not physically resemble you and your extended family.

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