Articles by Kellen Kaiser

Friday, June 28th, 2013

8 Reasons to Talk to Your Kids about Homosexuality

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8 Reasons to Talk to Your Kids about Homosexuality
Growing up with lesbian parents, I wished my classmates' parents had talked to them about homosexuality. Here are eight reasons why it's important you talk to your kids about homosexuality. It's all part of the mission of raising globally-minded children!   1.  Eventually, inevitably, they will meet someone who is gay.   They may have already. With more and more gay people having kids there could be gay parents in your preschool or playgroup. When that fateful meeting occurs, it might be nice for your kids to have some context.  Read more »

What Sucks about Being a Nanny

When friends hear the nanny position that has served as my main gig for the past year and a half is ending, the most common question I’m asked is, "But won’t you miss him?"   Him.  Read more »

I’m Your Nanny, Do You Really Trust Me?

The first week of my new job coincided with the heavily media-covered murder of two children by their nanny in the Upper East Side of New York City.  Read more »

The Only Things Your Baby Needs

Jail is an interesting place to observe parenting in practice.  Read more »

Why the Car is Bad for Your Kids

I’m a strange candidate to argue for a car-free approach to childrearing. As a resident of Los Angeles, I practically live in my car. And If I’m being completely honest, I can’t even ride a bike. But unlike those critiquing cars for environmental reasons or even social (the argument has been made that cars are essentially tools of isolation), my concerns are child centered.  Read more »

Exploring Masturbation in Children and Other Taboos

When I told some people that I wanted to write about childhood sexuality, they were understandably wary. I wouldn’t touch that with a ten-foot pole, was the way one friend worded it. They were only partially reassured when I promised that I wouldn’t be advocating having sex with children, only acknowledging the inherent sexuality children have from birth.  Read more »

Toddler Food Wars

Lately the families I work for are dealing with issues around food. In one household, I am told that the toddler has decided not to eat her dinner one evening and so as a consequence I am not to give her any food if she asks. They hand me a full sippy-cup of milk that the toddler has disdained and mention that is her only option. I felt uncomfortable denying food but also knew she was generally well fed and that if she didn’t eat anything that night, it would in no way compromise her nutritionally.  Read more »

The Globalization of Childcare: The Consequences of Trading Love for Work

Here in Los Angeles, there’s a listserv that features ads from people looking for nannies and from nannies looking for work. There’s the occasional reminder posted about the rules: a place where posts are restricted to ads. Another clarifies that conversation should be shifted to an alternative forum. The rule was broken recently when a virtual riot broke out in response to a potential employer’s offer.  Read more »

When the Latina Nannies Found Out I Spoke Spanish

I had tried to hold out on the older Latina nannies in the park knowing I spoke Spanish. As long as we spoke in English our relationship was kept shallow, limited by their vocabulary. They would ask about my day and coo over my infant but that was about it. I knew that once they knew about me, I would never again be alone for better or for worse. While I occasionally listened into their conversations in order to entertain myself while the baby dug in the sandbox, I also appreciated the lack of forced socialization.  Read more »

Warning: Babies Blinded by Eating Sand (and so I let them)

While reading Lenore Skenazy’s book Free-Range Kids, I couldn’t help but think that while dubbing her “America’s Worst Mom” was an overstatement, I wouldn’t put a nine-year-old on the subway alone either. That’s what she did. She handed her son a subway card, a map, a few bucks change and bon voyage. I am too over-protective for that, maybe because having gone to college in New York City, I know how gross and scary the subway can be.  Read more »

What Makes Breastfeeding so Darn Controversial?

I’ve done a lot in my day to support the breastfeeding cause: calling moms at work to schedule feedings, carefully titrating breastmilk into bottles from plastic bags without spilling a drop, feeding with a spoon when a bottle was refused. I’ve even ignored what was probably a sign of postpartum depression: a woman clad almost exclusively in an open, pink terry cloth bathrobe, in the interest of encouraging breastfeeding.  Read more »

Why Americans Value Independent and Competitive Kids

What does Ann Coulter share in common with the average American anarchist? If you guessed parenting goals, you would be right. Hard to believe? Well, I’ve been rereading my favorite parenting book, Our Babies, Ourselves: How Biology and Culture Shape the Way We Parent by Meredith Small, which looks at how parenting has evolved around the world. Every time I dive back into its pages something new catches my eye.  Read more »

International Baby Naming Laws–Are They a Good Thing?

In my last column I looked into a friend’s wacky baby-naming. As it turns out, the degree of freedom we enjoy here in the States with regards to baby names is not shared internationally. Naming laws abound worldwide: France, Poland and New Zealand are just a few countries that have laws on the books. In Germany, the first name must indicate the baby’s sex--I’m not sure what they’d do with a name like mine, and who decides on which side a name like “Jamie” falls.  Read more »

You Named Your Kid What?

A friend just named her child with a celebrity-style moniker. Think an obscure shade of blue and a Greek god for a middle name, just to make sure he cant fall back on that one: Azure Poseidon. These days, the desire to name your child in a way that stands out is not for the rich and famous alone. Watch out Apple, Moses and Audioscience—the mainstream is following right behind you!   I have an unusual name myself, so I have an opinion on the subject.  Read more »

Nanny Wanted: Must Be Both Idiot and Expert

On a parenting message board, I compete with people named Luz Hernandez, Diana Carrillo and Alma de la Cruz. In Los Angeles, Latin nannies are ubiquitous. As I recall in New York, it is West Indian women raising the upper class. All over the world, women trade parenting. In Hong Kong, babies are raised by Indonesians, in Australia they’re Filipinos.  Read more »

Is Nanny a Fancy Word for Domestic Servant?

I’ve been looking for work lately. As a nanny this means a variety of things. Posting advertisements on parenting message boards, interviewing at Nanny agencies, filling out myriad online applications and getting recertified in any lapsed certifications (CPR, TB whatever). I consider it a practice session in Zen-like humility; a test of dignity under duress.  Read more »

The Performance of Parenting or Why I Hate my Job

Nannying can be terribly boring. This is because the infants I care for (most of whom are under a year old) are busy entertaining themselves. They are working on physics equations in their head (don't believe me? Read The Scientist in the Crib) and testing objects' densities with their mouths. Their laboratory is a mat on the floor of their homes in general.  Read more »

Why Gay Parents are Superior to Hetero Parents

I was raised by a fabulous set of lesbians in the San Francisco Bay Area in the early eighties. There were a lot less kids of gay parents then, even in San Francisco, and although it may have been an unusual childhood, it was a very happy one. Now that I am of an age to be having kids, I am reflective about the parenting practices that made my parents such successful caregivers.  Read more »

Maybe Amy Chua is Not so Bad

Having thought further about what intentional parenting entails, I sought counsel from my mother, Nina, about her parenting practices. She summed them up, patly, as "values based parenting." I was instantly appreciative of her co-opting of the term "values," as the right wing has cashed in on it for way too long.   "In parenting we transfer daily messages to our children about what is important," she told me.  Read more »

Intentional vs. Default Parenting

Everyone in my family had saved up in anticipation of my arrival. Nonetheless, when I was under one year old, they needed part-time childcare for me while my mother Nina went back to work as a nurse. My mom had heard of another nurse who had recently taken leave and might be willing to watch me. Enter Simone. My mother is a lesbian and Simone, a born-again Christian.  Read more »

Parenting Against Society

Okay, having spent 800 words convincing you that I don't wander into people's homes to judge their parenting, now I can start playing Solomon—cut that baby in half! Let the judgment begin. For the record, often I don't feel like I have a philosophy until someone else's parenting is counter to it. Sometimes it surprises even me the things that I disapprove of but I have racked up a list of questionable behavior over the years.  Read more »

The Eight Essential Hanukkah Books

Having taught Sunday school briefly, I understand the challenge of bringing holidays into an understandable form for children. On top of that, there is definitely a smaller selection for Chanukah than what's offered for Christmas. We may be Chosen but we can't be choosy. I can't imagine what the folks who celebrate Diwali have to choose from. I was concerned there might not even be enough Chanukah books up to snuff since we can't even agree on the spelling.  Read more »

Parenting: A Horse of Many Colors

As a nanny, I get to watch parenting. Being in people's homes and caring for their children is necessarily intimate. Up close everyone's eccentricities are magnified, so I get a good view. Each job and new family brings a different set of expectations and assumptions about what ideal parenting should be. I also came into the field with my own set of ideas based on how I was raised.  Read more »
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Quite certainly the cocktail hour was invented in relation to the witching hour.

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It turns out the answer may be cultural

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Reading, curating and subverting children's books to expand the definition of normal

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From Huge Giveaway for Eid: Tea Collection, Little Passports, Little Pim, Dolls, Books, Music & More
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We live in Canada, and are picnicking on Toronto City Centre Islan...
From Huge Giveaway for Eid: Tea Collection, Little Passports, Little Pim, Dolls, Books, Music & More
Hi! We are in Texas and have spent our July swimming, exploring new places and staying out of the extreme heat. It's baby's first summer and she's doing great! ...
From Huge Giveaway for Eid: Tea Collection, Little Passports, Little Pim, Dolls, Books, Music & More
Excellent article. My baby is ten months old and sleeps next to our bed in her crib. I've caught a lot of flack for it, and I don't understand why - what is the rush to get them out into their own r...
From The West’s Strange Relationship to Babies and Sleep
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on weekends we are going to water playgrounds in local park, to the beach and every week day we go to the pool! my kids are like fish, can't live without water ...
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Frederick, Maryland. We're loving camping and and library time this Jul...
From Huge Giveaway for Eid: Tea Collection, Little Passports, Little Pim, Dolls, Books, Music & More
We live in uk. This july has been beautifully sunny. We have been enjoying Iur container garden watching flowers and vegetables grow. Learning about caterpillars. Enjoying ramadan and iftaris from w...
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Awesome giveaway, everything looks great! We love in London UK, and celebrating Eid will be the most exciting this July, we've been busy with Ramadan all through the month, and the children have onl...
From Huge Giveaway for Eid: Tea Collection, Little Passports, Little Pim, Dolls, Books, Music & More
Toronto, Canada and we went to the museum to see the Forbidden City in China exhibiti...
From Huge Giveaway for Eid: Tea Collection, Little Passports, Little Pim, Dolls, Books, Music & More
We live in portland, Oregon. This July we are starting a new business venture to encourage breastfeeding and using organic sustainable thing...
From Huge Giveaway for Eid: Tea Collection, Little Passports, Little Pim, Dolls, Books, Music & More
We are currently living in Bogota, Colombia and are trying to raise our two sons as Spanish speakers. If we win, we will share our winnings with my brother and SIL who also have 2 boy...
From Huge Giveaway for Eid: Tea Collection, Little Passports, Little Pim, Dolls, Books, Music & More
Wow, I loved this! What a gift both to your kids and to you, to be recovering Cantonese yourself. It's often overlooked what raising a bilingual family does for the parents. Or our brains at least. ...
From How I Made My Forgotten Native Language My Child’s Strongest
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What a fantastic giveaway! We are in Ecuador. We are exploring this beautiful country, learning Spanish, and experiencing the culture her...
From Huge Giveaway for Eid: Tea Collection, Little Passports, Little Pim, Dolls, Books, Music & More
We have lived in Alexandria, Egypt for nearly five years, but are spending this July in Ohio, USA, preparing to have our second child and enjoying green grass and rai...
From Huge Giveaway for Eid: Tea Collection, Little Passports, Little Pim, Dolls, Books, Music & More
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¡Saludos! We're in South Carolina, USA. This summer we've been to two road trips to the beach, and another to Great Wolf Lodge (inside water park); we've been spending a lot of time outdoors, play...
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What a great giveaway! Thank you for organizing it! This summer we are totally Immersed into the beauty of Lake Garda, Italy and Russian books. ...
From Huge Giveaway for Eid: Tea Collection, Little Passports, Little Pim, Dolls, Books, Music & More
I am brazilian and my husband american. We live in Atlanta, GA and we just welcomed a new baby in our family 4 weeks Go so this has been a slow summer. Our favorite things this month has been cuddli...
From Huge Giveaway for Eid: Tea Collection, Little Passports, Little Pim, Dolls, Books, Music & More
We are in California, and my husband is taking my son to see Real Madrid play this weeken...
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