Raising a Hijab-Wearing Daughter in a World that Doesn’t Understand

Monday, April 30th, 2012

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When she turned 15, my daughter announced her intention to start wearing the hijab (Muslim head scarf). At the time, we had been living in Qatar for nine years and upon our arrival in Dubai she donned her first veil. Nothing prepared me for the deluge of feelings that followed.

What’s Easter without a Whipping?

Saturday, March 31st, 2012

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Though I’ve listened to Czech girlfriends cite instances where they felt Czech men (even their own fathers, uncles and brothers) took the tradition out of hand, I always assumed that if a woman said she didn’t want to be whipped her wishes would be respected. I was wrong.

Growing Up Baha’i in Rural Maine: A Not-so-Secret Double Life

Thursday, March 1st, 2012

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Blonde, blue-eyed, and with the exceedingly fair skin of her Swiss-German ancestors, my daughter blended well into the sea of faces in her first grade classroom. But the truth was then and is now that she feels more at home with the one Iranian Muslim family in town, which shares with us one of our major holidays—Naw Ruz—as well as the practices of fasting and daily obligatory prayer.

Celebrating a Holiday You Probably Haven’t Heard Of

Sunday, February 26th, 2012

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I belong to a faith with virtually no rituals, and holidays almost no one around me has heard of. As a Baha’i, we avoid rituals but we do worship God, have sacred writings and prayers, a rich history, a worldwide community, laws (like getting the consent of living parents before marriage), and guidelines for daily living.

Birth, Loss and In Between

Sunday, January 29th, 2012

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In the Pashtun culture, we celebrate the 40th day after childbirth by the mother officially bathing, praying and giving money to charity. I followed tradition, with the knowledge that while this was a celebratory time for most mothers, I was grieving my empty womb. On my prayer mat, I cried throughout my prayer.

Postpartum in China—Confinement or Luxury?

Saturday, December 31st, 2011

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In Chinese culture, the moon month, also translated as “sitting out the month,” “lying in” or “confinement in childbirth,” is a month-long sojourn in the home for postpartum women. Sounds great, right? Well, part of this tradition requires that women not…

Why Kids Need the Scary Stuff Too

Wednesday, November 30th, 2011

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During one of our adoption homestudy visits, I remember scrambling to move a large framed print of a green devil from view in our TV room. Yet, the framed Korean mask dance figures which appeared far scarier to me at the time, remained on display. This was my choice, of course, but I felt it was dictated by expectations of our family and household. “Multiculturalism” is good, “devil” is bad.

Why I Don’t Want My Children to Be Happy

Thursday, October 27th, 2011

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I came to Amy Chua’s book, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, and its controversy late. Even though I never had parents who hit me or called me garbage, I could relate to a lot of what Any Chua had to say. Like Amy Chua,my parent’s held an unfailing belief that I would succeed.

A Few Drops Outside the Tribe

Friday, September 30th, 2011

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My Indian heritage has defined who I have been for most of my life, that is, until I became a mother. The business of raising children makes nearly everything else fall to the back burner.The identities of “mother” and “wife” took precedence over that of “tribal member.”

Teaching my Muslim Son about 9/11

Wednesday, August 31st, 2011

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My eldest is fascinated by comparisons of the largest tsunamis or most populated cities in the world. One night at the dinner table, he asks, “Mama, what is the tallest building in New York City?”

Giving Birth Naturally in Hong Kong, the Land of the Lucky

Monday, August 1st, 2011

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In a country where women routinely consult the Chinese zodiac to determine the most auspicious date for the caesarean delivery of their babies, I was preparing for a natural childbirth in a private English hospital on the top of Hong Kong’s highest mountain in the days just after the British handover of the colony to China.

Breasts are for Babies? Perceptions of Breastfeeding in Italy

Tuesday, June 28th, 2011

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Before the seventies, breastfeeding was the norm in Italy. But the feminist revolution paralleled the invasion of the first multinational companies shortly after 1968 and changed all that.

African Parenting: The Sane Way to Raise Children

Tuesday, May 31st, 2011

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There is an oft-quoted African saying, “It takes a village to raise a child.” Less cited is the second half of the saying, “…and a community to keep the parents sane.”

How Do You Explain God to Kids?

Saturday, April 30th, 2011

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I remember when I first showed my son an illustrated Bhagavad Gita—Our Most Dear Friend by Visakha. He was two years old and was too young for the text, but we gazed at the pictures together while sitting in our sunny living room as the fireplace warmed our feet.

Identity Confusion: An Israeli Mom in NYC

Thursday, March 31st, 2011

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In Israel almost everyone is Jewish, except of course for the Arabs with whom Jews rarely interact. As a Jew, if you decide to marry outside your religion or even do something as minor as celebrate a non-Jewish holiday in your own home, you experience a sense of betrayal.

Burqas, Miniskirts and Sex: My Childhood in Saudi and Egypt

Monday, February 28th, 2011

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I remember my early childhood, growing up in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia (KSA), as disturbing. Forced to cover my body in black from head to toe in the morning to go to school and then changing into a miniskirt to go out in the evenings was the source of much confusion for an eight-year-old girl.

Raised Under the Armenian Evil Eye

Monday, January 31st, 2011

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Growing up in a traditional Armenian home in Southern California, we had many superstitions and rituals. My mother was and still is the queen of superstition. Here are just a few of the many superstitions we followed:
No whistling especially at night or evil spirits will come.
No cutting your nails at night. This will shorten your life.

What’s in a Ritual? Should it be Through Your Faith or Mine?

Friday, December 31st, 2010

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We are religious in the sense that my husband, Marvin, and I believe in a higher entity – God/Allah – that connects all of us. But we struggle as parents to maintain a spiritually connected family and follow rituals that do not contradict the values we care about.

Baby-Making the Hindu Way

Tuesday, November 30th, 2010

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I had my parents quite nervous about whether or not I would ever get married and have a family. No one was quite sure when I would run off to the Himalayas and I am sure there was some heavy betting going on with high odds that I was going to do just that. Well, I am glad I didn’t run off, as there was never any need to and I am glad I decided to get married and make babies. My wife was completely floored when I proposed.

Circumcision Wars

Wednesday, October 20th, 2010

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The first major difficulty in my multicultural marriage was over circumcision. The Turkish custom of circumcision was the first custom I downright refused to go along with.

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